My mentor for all things tree related died today. He taught me everything I ‘needed’ to know to survive as a City forester. It’s harder than you think. Everyone knows a little about trees and quite frankly there are some real fucking experts out there. I mean, I’ve had the schtick since I was like 15 years old. I was never afraid to talk to strangers so the communication part of the job was easy. But Freddy taught me the ropes…how to pace your work, how to end the day on a high note, how to be hardened in the trenches and not give away the store. A good guy died and I’m going to miss him.

I went to Opus last night and got to talk to everyone who’s worth talking to. Roadies have a little closed society and look down on normal people who just ride their bikes. I could take my bike out in the parking lot at work right now and practice track stands and have a blast doing it. Skibb’y line of Shut Up And Ride is very true.

I really wish I could post pictures here but I’ve tried and can’t get the fuckers to work. Maybe I’ll just dump this blog and register another blog on blogger.

More importantly, I’m going to start sending out postcards. I used to get mail from Ma and really looked forward to it. Most of the shit the mailman brings are bills or bullshit. You would get a postcard from me for one of two reasons. Either I’m pissed at you and you’re officially on double secret probation or I like you and just want to send you a postcard. You’ll never be able to tell the difference.

So, go back to work. Fuck off, Mom always liked me best. 

Kruse, where the fuck have you been? Your absence from the internet is noticeable.

So because of the need for computer stuff in all walks of life, there are lots of computer geeks. I think half of Cat 6 are geeks and I realize the term is derogatory but let’s not get all tied up in words. Rosenberg creates delicious meals for spoiled rotten fucking college kids. Hurl sells coffee and a rebellious way of life. The part of my job I love the most is tree planting. True, in most cases I marked your 80 year old tree and gave you a small replacement but hell the old one was dying anyway. But I really feel like I create something. My boss once told me ‘you’ll plant a shitload of trees and maybe someday when you’re an old fucker you’ll come back here and a few of them will have survived and you’ll say, hey I planted that tree’.

Do you computer guys get the same feeling? I realize you work hard and in many cases put up with a lot of shit but do you get a feeling of accomplishment?

I’m starting a campaign to throw everyone’s bike in the river. I’ll warm up with recumbent geeks and will move on to roadies.

I know, I know, I’m totally out of fucking line to ask the people who bring all their kids fundraiser shit in to work to have the kid call me and tell me in person why I should buy this shit. I’d probably buy more. My cousin and I used to take our fundraiser candy (which you received in advance in those days) to the Helene Curtis plant and hawk it as people were leaving work. We were damn good too.

I was checking Chicago’s weather last night and came across a video of one of their reporter girls reporting from the field. Part of her video included a shot of her trying to push a car out of a snowbank. I found a way to email her and told her how funny a primadonna reporter trying to push a stuck car looked. I added that I hoped she had put her Coach purse out of harms way. SHE REPLIED BACK. She told me how she was tough and worked out every day and grew up in Chicago and that I should never judge a book by its cover. Now I’m sure she grew up in the suburbs and does some kind of bullshit pilates. I replied to her reply with more smart ass shit and that’s where it ended. I’m not really a sexist…more of a misogynist.

I’m really not sure what Kruse could possibly contribute to this masterpiece. Of course if he posted something I didn’t like I could just go the six blocks to his house and beat the fuck out of him.

The next Loon State 318 ride should end here, they can all take a lick….

Love Skibby